those crazy kids

  • Posted by j on July 8th, 2008 filed in Love

Honestly, S’s telling of how we met is pretty spot on. I became fascinated by her (and to be fair, her boyfriend at the time as well) at that Glitter Party.  She was beautiful…tall, dark haired, with the sparkliest green eyes imaginable.

As for the first time she met my sister, I remember that too - it was at a party at my friends house that she and her boyfriend and some other of his friends were invited to. At this point they were in the process of breaking up, but they had spent the whole day together at a family event for his sister.  They were both being pretty hard on each other and had spent the event…drinking. And then she didn’t eat dinner. And then she came to this party. And um, drank a bit more.  And then got sick over the porch. It was kind of a memorable introduction to my friends, I think, but they soon forgave her though I still tease her about it now.

As for “crazy” rituals…we don’t have any. Just one small daily moment of the promise of our love. It takes place the moment before we’re really ready to go to sleep. I turn to her and ask, “Will you be here in the morning?” And she replies, “yes,” to which I ask, “promise?” And she says, “I promise.” And then we share a night time kiss and she tells me she loves me and I return the sentiment.

Its pretty much the best part of my day.

  • 5 Comments »




    • what she said

    I am not forgetting about your questions that I promised to answer. For the “how did you two meet” question, I have employed the help of S, who sums it up pretty well.

    How We Met

    (S’s Side of the Story)

    I had been living in the garden state for about seven months, having moved there for my partner at the times first year of grad school, and my research fellowship with a national LGBT non-profit think tank. I had very few friends in New Jersey, acquaintances from work and the friends of my partner, who had grown up, and attended undergrad, there.

    Occasionally, my partner at the time would chat online on a gay social networking site. One night, in mid-January, a dyke in her mid-twenties, also living in northern NJ, was online and they struck up a conversation. Her name was J. Come to find out, we were going to be at the same party she was going to a couple of nights later.

    This party, an annual “glitter party” (where everyone must adhere to the theme by wearing something augmented with glitter), hosted by a butch-femme, lesbian couple. The femme of this couple was a faculty member at the college that my partner had gone to for undergrad. The butch of the couple was an assistant manager for the same chain of movie rental stores that J was working for.

    I walked into the party that night, prepared for a couple of hours of feeling really socially awkward, until my allergies to their cats got the better of me, and we would call it a night. Instead, I met J and we spent most of the evening chatting up a storm – talking about queer issues, movies, our shared academic background in art history and more. She was great, really cute (with a mixture of hair gel and loose glitter in her bleach-blonde hair), and she listened to me, seeming genuinely interested in what I had to say and what was on my mind.

    She had been living back in New Jersey for about six months, following the death of her father, sharing a house with her brother and sister. We became good friends and spent time together over the next few months, more frequently as time went on.

    In the early summer, my relationship ended and I needed a place to stay for a few weeks before moving back to Maine. I moved in with J and her siblings, intending to stay for two weeks. The two weeks turned into two months as we became much more than friends. When I finally moved, J moved with me and here we are, still together five years later.

    She’s stil cute, the hair is definitely not bleach blond anymore and I’m convinced that sometimes she’s not actually listening to me - but occasionally I find bits of glitter in her hair.


  • 11 Comments »




    • disappointing

    S’s recovery is going so well that last night she felt good enough to go out to a movie. This is a GREAT thing because A and I have wanted to see “Hancock” since we first heard about it a few months back. In general I LOVE Will Smith movies, especially the big July 4 blockbuster types.

    Sadly, despite a pretty good and tight quirky superhero plot, Hancock was one of the most homophobic mainstream movies I’ve seen in YEARS. It was made clear early and often in the movie - from the first 10 minutes to the last scene - that being weak was equated with being queer which was equated with being punk. And the word “homo” was used in a not very nice way about 1/2 a dozen times.

    Honestly, I kind of thought that Hollywood didn’t need to go…there…anymore to make a point, and this movie was clearly strong enough to have gotten by without it. It wasn’t necessary at all and….I don’t know. I mean, there are some questionable moments in movies like “Blades of Glory,” or “The 40 year old Virgin” but to me it seemed like those jokes were so gay that while the mainstream audience might laugh for one reason, gay people might laugh for another and recognize that it takes a someone really in touch with the gay community to write a joke that funny. Hancock was just mean.

    I’m not going to say you know, don’t go to this movie, like I said, it wasn’t bad - just a little advance warning so you’re not shocked or saddened or surprised during the movie, like we were.

    **EDIT** So GLAAD is up on the “homo” part, what they ignore is the large if your a weakling your a sissy and if you’re a sissy your queer and queer is punk. That was my biggest issue.


  • 6 Comments »




    • s update

    For those interested: S’s surgery went well. It took 3 and a half hours. This is because her uterus was 10x the size of a normal one and they managed to do it all lapriscopically, which is great as her recovery won’t be too awful.

    Thanks to those who knew this was going on and who have offered support throughout the whole ordeal, especially my sister, A, and K, who makes the best chocolate chip cookies ever.


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    • surprise

    This was waiting for me when I got home tonight….yippie!


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    • it’s a living

    Tyler asked me what being a salesperson was like. Being that Ty is one of my favorite people in the world (and my first and only real boyfriend, but I’ll leave that for another time) I will go for it. Honestly, although I never really considered a career in sales (and I don’t know that many people do) it doesn’t necessarily surprise me that I’m good at it. I mean, I’ve always had an easy time making chitchat with strangers, finding common ground in experiences. And, I’m a ok study in personalities (and getting better) and can think quick on how to convince people that they’re making a right decision.

    Honestly, if I wasn’t selling the brand of cars that I sell, I probably wouldn’t be able to. I really believe in the product that they make, and their ethics, and the way they treat the environment, and their plans for a sustainable future in the auto industry. On top of that they’ve always been a good friend of the gay and their corporate politics are very forward thinking. This makes it easy for me to sell.

    Also, as far as a “type” of vehicle, this one is perhaps the best suited for Maine’s climate. They’re good. They last forever. And they pretty much sell themselves. It’s the negotiating part that I’ve had to learn. Being as the dealership where I work is about the least sketchy place to buy a car that I’ve ever been in, that’s been pretty ok too. I understand that we offer superior service in all departments - and I’m no longer….feeling like I’m swindling someone while trying to put food on my table. It’s a struggle, you know? It’s hard sometimes, but I’m beginning to not apologize for making money. I mean, people pay lots of money for all kinds of services - and spending 20-40,000 on a vehicle is a big investment. Having a salesperson that does their job well can be the difference between a really bad purchasing experience and a really effortless one. And I don’t know but honestly, I’m willing to pay more for goods if I’m well helped and treated well during my shopping.

    I also love the guys I work with. I say guys because this is a very male dominated world. And yes, sometimes they are disgusting sexist pigs, but most of the time they’re just the same kind of 14 y/o boy I am most of the time. I will admit to having to turn it “off’ before I come home because sometimes it can be obnoxious.

    Most importantly, I really like what I’m doing. I’m not stressed out too much, and it’s a good way to support myself and actually make some money while figuring out the baby/future stuff.

    Mostly, I come home from work happy pretty much every day - a marked improvement if I do say so myself.


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